My way

I try to find my own way.
slowly, one step at a time.
I have my dreams.
I have fears.
and they come hand in hand.
but deep inside I know that only way I can go is my way.
everyone goes their own way.
in their own way.
it's easy to stare yourself blind at other people's lifes.
and try to live the life they live.
but deep inside I know that the only way I can go is my way.
the only life I can live is mine.
the only life I want to live is mine.

I can be the happiest you'd ever met.
but I can also be horribly weighed down by my inner darkness.
the big differences scares me sometimes.
and makes me doubt that I can do what I want to do.
both sides can be so convincing.
two sides of the same coin.
just as strong and argumentive.
one is positive.
the other is negative.
but I guess it's just human.
it's ok.
everything is all right.

Love
mary

Walk my own way...

I'm back in Sweden and slowly mentally landing from all the travelling.
Like most longer trips I've done before this one also changed me.
I've matured. I've changed my priorities.
Part of me is still confused and doesn't know who I am and what I want to do with my life.
And in a way it's true.
I don't have all the answers.
I don't know what's gonna happen next.
But that has to be ok.
I'm back in the one of the most conformed countries in the world.
I know that I want to be here.
But I must find my way of living it.
The sooner I can realise and accept that I can't live somebody else's life.
The sooner I can get on living the life of my dreams.
I look at job ads.
But I know that's not what I want to do.
I want to be free.
Be my own master.
Walk my own way.
Build my world.
Work on my strenghts and weaknesses.
Accept the way I am.
Stop trying to fit in.
Stop feeling alone.
Because I'm not.
Be happy when I'm happy and sad when I'm sad.
Accept life as it is.
A hell of a ride.

Love